Diary of an Occasionally Mad Woman
by Chrislovercharmed
Summary: Being the only daughter of the infamous BoyWhoLived certainly has its drawbacks, as Lilian Athalia Potter knows only too well. But now she has a diary, and is prepared to make darn good use of it. Warning: not intended to be read by normalish people.
1. Welcome to My Life

Dear Diary,

Hola, and fondest greetings, oh paper one!

Now that's out of the way…

I HATE MY LIFE!

Why, you ask? Well, it could be the fact that I have a lightning-shaped birthmark on my forehead that looks completely idiotic, or that because of who my dad is, people tend to stop and stare and be all, "Ooh look, there goes the spawn of The-Boy-Who-Lived, let's stare at her like a bunch of bloody great prats for a few minutes!", or that I'm hopelessly in love with my brother's best friend and he doesn't know, or that I may actually have to spend the rest of my summer hols in a country that's overrun with fast food restaurants that serve SPORKS with every nasty, greasy meal, or that I have a HUGE family and can never eat dinner with them indoors 'cause there's never enough room…

But I skimmed over the most important point. WHY would anyone in their right mind want to live in or even visit the States? Granted, they do have some killer musicians, but that's about it! I mean, gosh, they should rename the place Fast-Food-a-go-go Land, or Country of the Sporks or something more fitting than the United States, 'cause everyone knows that country is not as United or free as they make it seem.

Merlin's beard, someone up there hates me.

Anyway, back it up to 'hopelessly in love.' The man that I love is Marshall Malfoy, and no one, not even the jerk-that-reads-all-my-mail-before-I-can, knows about it (the 'jerk' being my twin brother, James Christopher Potter). Marshall is Parvati Patil and Draco Malfoy's eldest son, and he is so gorgeous, it's scary. Seriously, he's amazing. And just because I feel like it, here is 'our' story:

I first met Marshall when I was two at his parents' anniversary celebration. He was three, and playing with a toy broom. He let me try it, but I fell off and started crying. So he gave me a chocolate-flavored Bertie Bott's Bean to make me feel better. And when Jamie (my bro) gave me an Acid Pop when I was five, and it burned a hole in my tongue, Marshall kicked him. Then I kissed him on the cheek. He and Jamie both got time-outs, and, according to Mum, Dad got yelled at for leaving an Acid Pop lying around.

I first realized I had a crush on Marshall when I was twelve. We were at Diagon Alley, when suddenly two Death Eaters started shooting off curses in my direction. I was all, 'Oh SPLEE,' but Marshall shoved me behind him, grabbed his wand, and took them both out in less than ten minutes. I fell in love with him that day.

But, as in all romance stories, there's problems: first of all, he's MY BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND, which basically makes him off limits. Secondly, I am really beginning to think that I will never have enough courage to tell him how I feel, so, obviously, problems.

Holy St. Francis of Sicily! I just got an owl from my best mate Theresa (Ron and Hermione Weasley's oldest daughter and my cousin). She says for the rest of her summer hols she's going to Paris and she wants ME TO GO TOO! Ah, Gay Paree! There's no way Mum and Dad can make me go to Spork Central for 'relaxation' once they find out that we've all been offered a chance to go to Paris! Yes, my dysfunctional family unit has been invited as well. And, oh my GODDESS! The Malfoys have been invited too! I'm going to the City of Love with Marshall Malfoy! SPLEEEEEEEEEEE!

Me: MUM!

Mum: (comes running into my room) Bloody hell! Why on earth are you screaming like a banshee?

Me: Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione have invited us and the Malfoys to go to Paris with them for the rest of the summer!

Mum: Paris? OH MY GOD, HARRY GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! JAMIE, YOU TOO!

Dad: (comes running in, wand at the ready) What's wrong, Gin?

Mum: Ron's invited us to FRANCE! (jumps into Dad's arms)

Dad: (hugs her back) What city, Paris?

Mum: (pulls back and nods) Of course!

Dad: (grins) Don't they call it the City of Love? (both grin, then start SNOGGING! AM NOW SCARRED FOR LIFE!)

Me: MUM, DAD, OH GODS, GET A ROOM!

Mum and Dad: (stop and look at me like I am a goon)

Enter: Jamie

Jamie: What is wrong with you people? Are you all mad, or did you yell and scream for a reason?

Me: Jamie, we are going to PARIS!

Jamie: (hugs me, yells and screams with the rest of us)

See, British wizards have recently been having problems agreeing on a few things with French wizards, so to retaliate for a few on our side bewitching every pastry in France to float away from its owner, they have made it illegal for foreign wizards to visit using magic. In other words, it's darn near impossible to get in unless you have plenty of Muggle money and know how to navigate your way through something called an airport. But I guess Uncle Ron does, cuz we're GOING TO PARIS! Then again, maybe it's Aunt Hermione; she's much more Muggle-savvy than Uncle Ron, since she's Muggleborn.

Anyway…

Me: Okay, now, give me a chance to write back would you?

Jamie: (stops hugging me) Right. Get to it! I'm gonna start packing. (leaves my room)

Mum: Bye, sweetie. Your father and I are going to Diagon Alley for, err, things… Right, Harry? (gives him disgustingly _suggestive _look)

Dad: Right… Bye Lila! (they leave and Floo off to some unknown place to do _things_… OH SPLEE, BAD MENTAL PICTURES!)

Well, I'll fix it in therapy. I am going to Paris, France, the City of Love with Marshall Malfoy, whom I LOVE! Nothing can go wrong now!

Crap, you-know-who is climbing in through my window! Love, peace, and chicken grease!


	2. Of Sex Gods and Bras

Hey all! Wow, I can't believe it, 5 reviews for just the first chappie! I love you people! Hope this chapter is also to your liking. BTW, sorry Sparkling Cherries: I'm American! But I'm flattered by your mistake! Here next chappie! 5 more reviews please!

Dear Diary,

Sorry times two about the hurried ending to my previous entry, but the man I am TOTALLY in love with was CLIMBING IN THROUGH MY WINDOW, so I stashed you under my pillow. This is how our conversation went.

Me: Uh, h-hey Marshall. What's up?

(I know, I sounded like a complete moron, but I had just been expressing my undying love for him, so, yeah)

Marshall: (finishes climbing in, stops to pull a hand through his UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous blonde hair, and looks at me, raising an eyebrow) Nothing. (goes to my desk, pulls out a chair, and swings it around, crossing his arms on the back)

Me: Uh huh. (I raise my eyebrow back, lapsing into my usual 'just hanging out with my best bud' mood) So, what's really been happening?

Marshall: Oh, not much, you know, my Mum yelled at my Dad for leaving the broom shed unlocked and letting Alan get at his Firebolt 3000…

Me: What happened to him?

Marshall: He sprained his wrist.

Me: Oh, no wonder Parvati freaked.

Marshall: Yeah, well, that happened, and Jake broke a lamp, my dad's mum tried to kill my dad and me…

Me: Whoa, hold it, stop, rewind. WHAT? I thought your grandma was locked up in the loony ward in St. Mungo's!

Marshall: You and me both.

Me: Okay, tell me what happened.

Marshall: Well, she came in through the fireplace screaming, "You killed my husband, you ungrateful bastard!" Dad told us to get out of there, and Mum was trying to get Jake, Alan, and Philippa to go upstairs. Then she yelled at me to follow her, but I turned right around and went to my dad. She was about to use the killing curse on him when I pulled out my wand and said, "_Protego!_" and a shield protected us. Then, she lost it even more and jumped me.

Me: She jumped you? Seriously?

Marshall: Yeah. (is quiet for a bit) That really ticked Dad off, though. He grabbed her off me, took her wand, and stunned her. Then he helped me up and thanked me, we hugged, and Aurors came for her half an hour later.

Me: You and your dad hugged? That's new.

Marshall: (shrugs) We have our moments.

Me: Wow. Trés merde.

Marshall: (confused looks amazing on him!) Huh?

Me: It's French, Mum got me into it. It basically means extremely terrible.

Marshall: Ah. Well, it fits.

(At this point, we share a look. You know, one of those looks where I feel him looking deep into my soul… sigh OH SPLEE, MARSHALL ALEXANDER MALFOY IS LOOKING INTO MY SOUL, OH GODDESS MAKE ME LOOK AWAY!) Um, well… (says my sixth year sex god! while looking away ) So, are you looking forward to your fifth year?

Me: (sighing and flopping back on bed) I guess. You know, except for the prospect of O.W.L.S., which could be the deciding factor in what I spend the rest of my life doing. The pressure is on to live up to my parents' O.W.L.S., so, as Simple Plan has stated, 'I just wanna scream.'

Marshall: I know it must be hard being expected to rival your parents' accomplishments.

Me: Cor, yes.

Quiet, thoughtful moment…

Me: Mind if I play some music? I can't stand silence.

Marshall: (shrugs) No, go ahead, maybe it'll help me forget about the two attempted murders that happened today.

Me: It's possible, Evanescence works wonders for a troubled soul. Remember when my cat died and I was holed up in here for two days? That's all I listened to.

Marshall: What's that, another Muggle band?

Me: Of course. I can't stand that trash my mum plays, it sounds like bad renditions of cheap 50s songs.

Marshall: (laughs, OHMYGODDESS! Oh, sex god is soooo hot, and he's mine! _I wish_…) Hey, you got a new poster.

Me: Yeah.

Marshall: What's with his ears?

Me: He's an elf.

Marshall: (gives me awesome hot look with raised eyebrow. Again, **_Sex God_**!)

Me: Well, not really. He's a Muggle called Orlando Bloom. This is a picture of him from The Lord of the Rings; he was an elf prince named Legolas Greenleaf. Of course, that was 20 years ago, but he's still cool.

Marshall: Right.

Me: I know, no idea what I'm talking about. (sigh) I need some Muggle friends.

Marshall: (acts offended, looks oh-so-hot) Hey! Who's the only person you know besides your brother who has also had to overcome his father's reputation?

Me: You.

Marshall: And who kicked said brother for giving you that Acid Pop?

Me: (laughing) You did. And don't think I don't appreciate it. He had it coming. So (says I, oh-so-casually), have you gotten your invite from Ron and Hermione?

Marshall: (huge, hot grin spreads over face, looks very kissable…) Yeah, and it sounds great! I'm really looking forward to it. You lot are coming, right?

Me: Oh, of course. And it's doubly cool with knobs for me 'cause now I don't have to go to the Land of the Sporks.

Marshall: (chuckles) It got you out of the dreaded trip to the States, then.

Me: Yes, so until the beginning of the school year, I plan on being worry free, and hopefully embarrassment-proof.

(Just then, Mum made an award-winning appearance)

Mum: Lila! Turn that noise down and answer me!

Me: (turn down stereo) What do you want?

Mum: I'm going shopping tomorrow. Do you need some new bras?

Me: (inside: OH MY GODS, SHE **_DIDN'T!_**) Outside: NO, Mum, and if I did, I would buy them MYSELF! Thank you!

Mum: Ah, I get it. Marshall, will you be staying for dinner?

Marshall: No thanks, Mrs. Potter, I already ate.

Mum: All right, then. Lila, dinner's in half an hour.

Me: Fine Mum.

(Mum walks away, I avoid looking at Marshall. I am ABSOTIVELY POSILUTELY MORTIFIED!)

Me: Sometimes parents can be so embarrassing. I feel like such a swot.

Marshall: (laughs) You're no dork, Lilac. (gets up) I gotta get home. (comes to me, and gives me a KISS ON THE CHEEK! I COULD DIE!) 'Bye. (climbs out window)

All I can say is SPLEE! He kissed me, he kissed me! Granted, it was a good friend, best friend's sister kiss, but so what! MARSHALL MALFOY, THE HOTTEST MAN IN THE WORLD, KISSED ME!

Anyways, on a saner note: notice the cute nickname, Lilac. He's called me that since I was 12. Don't know why, don't care why. He could call me Biscuithead and I wouldn't mind!

Anyways (again), next time you hear from me, I will be in PARIS, with MARSHALL MALFOY! Oh, and my best friend/fave cousin, 5 other cousins (6 if you count the one Hermione's pregnant with), my twin brother, and my parents, who SO do not belong in the City of Love. But, there's no stopping them now. Oh well, will ditch them and scope out some French chaps for fun with Theresa, my best friend/fave cousin. Until Paree, farewell my dearest diary!

Now, press that funky-colored button and review! Come on, you know you want to… DO IT, OR I WILL SIC MY ANAL-DWELLING BUTT-MONKEY ON YOU! Hahaha, as if I really would! Or would I?


	3. Me and My Big, Fat, Stupid, Loud Mouth

Hey all! Sorry about the lateness, but I typed as fast as I could. Paige Halliwell-Matthews: If you check the first chapter when Harry comes running in, wand at the ready, you'll be able to tell who his wife is. Sparkling Cherries: The U is just to stay in character, but I call my mom that every chance I get! If you enjoy my states-bashing, you'll love this chappy! Enough blather! Here it is!

August 7th 2014

Paris, France

In my and Theresa's hotel room

Dear Diary,

Notice the brand spanky new date and place neatly written in the upperleft hand corner (just like McGonagall's always reminding us to do). I believe to properly record my fabulous adventures in the City of Love, I need to write the where and when.

In fact, I am so overflowing with inspiration right now, I will continue to do so and maybe even name my diary entries! This one should be called: ME AND MY BIG MOUTH!

Ha, I fooled you into thinking I was in a good mood. Well, I'm so not. Today is our first day of vaca in Paris, but I have already learned that the City of Love is NOT on my side.

Theresa and I were sitting our room chatting when she brought up Marshall. She did not know about my love for him that burns with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns, so naturally I thought she suspected something and was going to question me. How wrong was I.

Theresa: (brushing her hair) So, what do you think of Marshall?

Me: (heart beats faster, am muy nerviosa) How do you mean?

Theresa: Well, do you like him?

Me: (heart is pounding against ribcage, methinks it shall breaketh) Of course. He's a great friend.

Theresa: Just a friend?

Me: (here's the moment that will haunt me for the rest of my life) Yeah. Just a friend.

Theresa: So it's okay with you if I-

Me: Oh, definitely. He's all yours.

Theresa: Great! Thanks Lila.

I HATE THE WORLD! I HATE PARIS! AND I WISH I COULD HATE THERESA, BUT IT'S NOT EVEN HER FAULT!

It's mine. And I hate myself for it. My best friend has left the room to ask out the man I love. Stupid big fat mouth.

August 7th 2014

Still in my and Theresa's room, only now have stopped crying and am simply brooding and moping

Dear Diary,

I have been praying for the past hour that Marshall will say no to Theresa, run up here, and snog me senseless.

Praying sucks.

And now praying sucks even more, as I have proof that it doesn't work. Someone did come running up. Theresa. Excited. Happy.

Marshall said yes.

And now I must stop writing as I've decided to change my religion to Buddhism and must go buy a statue of the chubby bald one I shall be praying to from now on.

August 8th 2014

In hotel room worshipping stupid fat statue

Dear Diary,

Have now officially become a Buddhist. Have been staring at statue for hours and praying for Marshall to forget my cousin and SNOG ME SENSELESS. Hasn't happened. Am thinking it never will. Am also thinking of chucking the little bugger out the window.

Uh-oh. Have heard knock on door.

Oh, Merlin's beard. It's my parents.

August 8th 2014

Where the heck do you think I am?

Dear Diary,

Am back.

'Kay, 'nuff with the formalities. Parents and I conversed. Here it is:

Mum: Sweetie, can we come in?

Me: Lila is not in at the moment. Leave a message after the beep. Beep. (funny, huh? It's used on something called an answering machine; at least I think that's what Aunt Hermione said)

Dad: Lila, open the bloody door.

Me: (loud, exasperated sigh) Fine. (I go and open the bloody door, then go right back to laying on bed and staring at ceiling)

Mum: Lila, is something wrong?

Me: (monotone) No.

Dad: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

Mum: Do you want to talk?

Me: No.

Dad: Want to roll in fertilizer 'til grass grows out your head?

Me: Ye- No!

Dad: (chuckles) Got you that time. But seriously. I (Mum elbows him), uh, we want you to know that if you ever do want to talk, we're all ears.

Me: (monotone again) Fine. (they leave, but when Dad is about to close the door…) Dad? (he stops and looks at me) Thanks.

I know, what was I thinking? Touchy-feely moment? If Phae (Hogwarts friend) knew, she would probably say something like, "Fluff! Must escape the fluff! The toilet will know…" which, I assure you, is completely normal for her.

The gesture made Dad smile, though.

It was kind of nice.

August 8th 2014

In room wearing smug expression

Dear Diary,

Have chucked the statue out the window. It hit Jamie on the head. I laughed. He told me to go to a very bad place. I then dropped three Chocolate Frogs and a box of Dragon's Breath on his head. He freaked out and came into the building. Now, I believe I hear him storming up the stairs. And he's knocking on my door. Must go, he is shouting some rather nasty curses through the door…

August 8th 2014

In room, just talked to my brother, am rather shocked

Dear Diary,

I let Jamesy in, and he was still spouting off curse words. After he calmed down, he asked me if I was all right. Question: am I that obvious? Anyway, here's the rest of it:

Me: No. (I know: could I be any more blunt?)

Jamie: What's wrong?

Me: You wouldn't understand.

(pause)

Jamie: Is there anything I can do?

Me: Not unless you can rewind time.

Jamie: Hey, if I could get you a Time Turner, I would. But I am sorry, whatever it is. I'm here for you.

Me: Really?

Jamie: Well duh! I'm your brother. No, I'm your twin. That's a really powerful connection.

Me: I haven't noticed.

Jamie: Like hell you haven't.

Me: Give me an example.

Jamie: Now, for instance. I can feel something is really wrong.

Me: (sigh) Give me a different one.

Jamie: (thinks) Oh, do you remember when those dementors attacked you and Marshall in Diagon Alley? I could almost hear you thinking "Oh SPLEE!"

(we laugh)

Me: I guess I do know what you mean. I can sort of feel that you're worried about me. (pause) I don't want you to worry. I can make it through on my own. Just talk to me like this more often.

Jamie: Like what?

Me: Like a friend.

We then hugged, believe it or not. It's weird. It's like now, when I really do need them for the first time in my life, my family's there for me. It's nice to know.

Anyway, since I chucked my statue, I am obviously no longer Buddhist. Maybe I'll try Hinduism or Judaism.

Or maybe I'll just be an atheist.

August 9th 2014

In room, aching with grief

Dear Diary,

Today is Theresa's date with Marshall. Someone may have to die to ease my pain.

Perhaps the desk clerk, as he was quite cheeky with me just now, and told me off yesterday for dropping things on Jamie's head, as he made a lot of commotion storming up the stairs.

Incidentally, our nine-year-old neighbor has learned some very colorful new words. Her parents are not pleased.

Anyway, am struggling to overcome the crushing heartache. My best friend's going on a date with my would-be boyfriend. Am thinking of dying her hair pink and blaming it on her little brother Josh. He does things like that, to Aunt Hermione's horror. He is a lot like my uncles Fred and George, something his mother shall never admit. She is fervently hoping it is just a stage.

But I'm getting off topic again. Point being, I am NOT happy, and probably never will be again. LIFE SUCKS!

Hang on, have heard knock on door.

OMG! AM NOW MUCH HAPPIER!

It was a guy.

Me: (I hear knock) Just a second! (I open the door and am face-to-face with a God!)

Heath: Hi, my name's Heath. (I numbly shake his hand)

Me: My name's Lila. So, Heath, what can I do for you?

Heath: Well, I met your brother a while ago. He told me that if I had nothing to do I should come up here and meet you because you "definitely aren't busy."

Me: Yeah, ha ha, that's my brother. Jamie is a tad mental, and sometimes forgets to take his pills.

(we laugh)

Heath: Anyway, if you're not busy, do you want to hang out?

Me: Sure. Come on in. (he comes in) So where are you from? Not Europe, I'm guessing.

Heath: Nope. Montgomery, Alabama, I'm afraid.

Me: I take you're not in love with the place.

Heath: Don't get me wrong: Alabama is great. It's the country I hate. I swear, if I see one more Spork, I'll throw it at someone's head and boycott fast food restaurants everywhere.

Me: You hate Sporks? Me too!

Heath: Awesome! You know, none of my friends back home feel as strongly about it as I do.

Well, we talked for hours, so I can't remember everything, but diary, I forgot about Marshall and Theresa the whole time. I didn't even care about their date. I just cared about staring into Heath's deep blue eyes... I may have drooled at some point. Then Heath left and Theresa came back.

All in smiles.

She and Marshall are officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

I'll kill her.

Except, I think I like Heath.

I'm not sure how much. As much as Marshall, maybe even more.

Oh, Merlin, I need help.

OH SPLEE! I JUST REALIZED: HEATH'S A MUGGLE!

Great. Just perfect

Stupid men.


	4. The Big Headedness of Males

Hey all! Okay, I'd like to make an apology to Paige Halliwell-Matthews, and anyone else who didn't know who Lila's mum was. How I typed that was really rude, and I've been raised better than that. I have no excuse for my behavior. I hope you will forgive me and continue reading my stories. I will attempt to be less of a jerk. Kay-kay? Here it is! Enjoy!

August 10th, 2014

At a café whose name I can't recall (or spell)

Dear Diary,

Bonjour!

And no, I'm not faking; I truly am happy!

Why, you ask? Because, I'm here with Heath!

Oh, he's so brill! He's into a ton of things I am, like Creed and Evanescence and the outlawing of SPORKS.

And he's just so easy to talk to. I didn't even mind him asking about my birthmark. Of course, I couldn't tell him the exact truth, but I got as close as I could. Something about my father getting scratched on the head by a bull when he was bull fighting, and it forming something in his genetic makeup, or… um… something.

Anyway, he loved hearing about my family and all the crazy stories, which turned out somewhat less crazy, as I had to edit out the magic.

Being friends with Muggles is complicated.

Anyways, I have lately taken to hanging out with Heath whenever I see Marshall and Theresa together. After gagging for seven billion years, I go to his room. I have sadly memorized the exact amount of steps it takes to get to his room from mine, and from the lobby, and from my parents' room. It's 124, 336, and 122. I think. Or maybe it's 122, 339, and 125...

Or maybe I am way off because of my astounding case of brain malfunction-ness that I have recently started getting every time I'm around Heath. And when I look into his deep blue eyes, I completely space out. Like yesterday when he was talking about how he hated football and rugby, I said something to the effect of, "Yeah, they're good, they're just a little runny." I was, at the time, eating breakfast in this dining place, and I thought he was asking me how my eggs were.

I usually do not have room in my brain for thoughts of Marshall when I'm with Heath, which is odd as I always have room for Marshall.

Diary, I think something is terribly wrong with me.

I have been feeling lately the way that I used to feel about Marshall, about Heath. Did that make sense? Oh burgundy, hardly anything makes sense anymore. (Yes, I said burgundy, Heath told me it was his fave color, and I thought it sounded interesting)

Oh, must go. Heath has returned from the loo, and I don't want him to see me writing and think I'm weird or something. Because I'm not. Much.

August 10th, 2014

In room listening to Theresa rave about 'Marshy'

Dear Diary,

Theresa must DIE! On and on, she blathers on, until I want to STRANGLE her!

Maybe poison is better. Less easy to pin on me.

Would Josh poison his sister? Probably not.

You know, I could try telling her the truth. Except, I don't know if it's true anymore. I'm not sure how I feel about 'Marshy.'

Maybe my stupid brain will let me know soon.

Oh for the love of Jamie's trousers. Now she's repeating word-for-word their conversation about Dumbledore's love of socks.

"And then he said…" "And I agreed…" "Then he laughed and said…"

She did not!

She totally just told me that I write too much, and I should 'put that dumb book away and tell her what I think of Marshy's hair.'

I wonder if they send 15-year-olds to jail for maiming their best friends.

Think I'll look that up.

August 11th, 2014

Hunting down my brother, am determined to thank him for sending Heath to me

Dear Diary,

I have been prowling the halls of the hotel looking for my idiot brother for the past half hour. Just when I have something to say to him that isn't insulting, he goes and disappears on me.

Typical.

Oh good grief. I have come upon a most disgusting sight: Jamie is snogging some poor girl senseless. I guess it's time again to make him want to kill me.

SPLEE! Am running away from my brother! He is very fast! Curse his Quidditch training!

August 11th, 2014

Hiding from insane twin in utility closet

Dear Diary,

Okay, I have some time to write down what I did.

I went around the corner and shouted, "James Christopher Potter, how many times must I tell you not to leave your dirty boxers in my room? Once more, and I might just have to tell this lovely girl about when you peed your pants because I pretended to be a werewolf!" That's when he yelled, "Lila!" and grabbed for my hair.

I shot off down the hall, through some corridors, and found this rather small closet.

For the love of Heath Derrick Dalen, what's taking Loverboy so dang long to find me?

Apparently nothing. He has found me and is pounding on the door and shouting quite loudly.

"Lila! I can hear your quill scratching! Stop writing in your stupid diary and get your bleeding arse out here! Now!"

How rude of him to call you stupid. Shall have to hit him.

August 11th, 2014

In room, am pissed at Jamie

Dear Diary,

To make it short, I came out of the closet swinging you at Jamie's head and made some good contact before running to my room. After he seemed to cool off a tad, I let him in and told him why I was looking for him.

Jamie: Who's Heath?

Me: The American chap you sent to my room a few days ago.

Jamie: I haven't met any Americans since we've been here. Except Andrea, but I don't expect her to ever speak to me again because SOMEBODY just HAD to barge in while we were-

Me: Oh, bloody hell! I don't even want to think about what you were doing!

Jamie: Whatever. All I know is I've never met anyone named Heath. Did he tell you I sent him to you?

Me: Yeah, but maybe he made a mistake.

Jamie: And maybe you should stay away from him.

Me: Why?

Jamie: Because he lied to you. I mean, how well do you know this guy?

Me: What are you babbling about? I know him better than I know myself.

Jamie: How can you be so sure?

Me: What are you saying?

Jamie: I'm saying you should stay away from him so Dad and I can trail him for a bit. If he's all right, then you can see him again. Okay?

Me: You are unbelievable! Do you really think you have the right to tell me who I can and cannot see?

Jamie: Lila, this is for your own good.

Me: (I stand and back away) No, Jamie. Don't you do that to me. Do not talk to me like you're my bloody father- (he interrupts, we yell the next two at the same time)

Jamie: I'm your brother!

Me: Because you're not!

(Silence, we stand a few feet apart, glaring and breathing heavily)

Me: Get out.

Jamie: Lila-

Me: Get out. I don't want to see you right now. (After a moment he turns to leave. Then I say, in a moment of stupidity) You know, you should be happy. At least I'm no longer crushing on your best friend.

Jamie: (turns back and stares at me) You mean…

(I look away)

Me: Never mind. Just go. And don't bother coming back until you can support me. (again, he turns to leave and I speak up) If you could be at least courteous enough to not mention that to Marshall and Theresa, I might forgive your betrayal a bit sooner.

Jamie: (finally leaves, muttering, "Betrayal, tuh!" scornfully under his breath)

I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM! He's so arrogant, and stupid, and BUDDHA, he's such a MAN! It's just so typical, they all think they're ALWAYS right and we women can't possibly EVER be right! I'll show him. I will! Heath is the best person I've ever known! Even better than Marshall Malfoy!

I don't need my stupid brother, or my father. I can take care of myself. To hell with all of them.

I should tell you that if I finish chappy 5 while I'm still here in the public library, I will probably post it. But **_PLEASE_** don't be sad if I don't!


	5. How Could This Happen to Me?

August 12th, 2014

In room, still steamed

Dear Diary,

Who knew my life could be filled with so much drama? Oh wait: I did.

I am still not speaking to my brother, and probably won't again for a long time. He treated me like a child; that is not something easily forgiven.

Theresa knows something's wrong but she's too busy snogging Marshall to care.

Oh NASTY! I just had an awful mental picture of those two attached at the mouth! I bet Theresa's a terrible kisser, and she's one of those people who don't know where to put their hands…

Suddenly, I care again. In fact, I care very much that they could be snogging as I write this.

Theresa MUST DIE!

No, Lila. Bad Lila!

Jeez, I feel weird. It's like I have this monster inside me that wants to rip Theresa's guts out and stomp them into the ground. Its growl sounds something like, "My Marshall! My Marshall! MY MARSHALL!"

But what about Heath?

It is odd that he would lie about my brother. He could have just said he wanted to meet me.

Or maybe someone else told him to go meet their sister and he got the wrong room.

But then wouldn't he have known he'd gotten it wrong when I said Jamie's name? Surely he knew the name of the person who sent him here.

I don't like this. Jamie's gotten me curious too. I'll just call Heath's room and ask him to meet me somewhere. I want to talk to him face-to-face about this.

August 12th, 2014

My room

Dear Diary,

Well it's all set. I'm meeting Heath in the basement in 10 minutes. Don't know why he wants to meet there, but he probably has a good reason.

I think I'll take my wand, though. Just in case.

August 12th, 2014

In the hotel lobby surrounded by family, Malfoys, and Aurors

Dear Diary,

Holy CRACKERJACKS!

You will not believe what happened!

It'll take a bit, but I want to tell you the whole story, so here it is.

I walked down to the basement quickly, all the while feeling like I was being followed.

When I got there, it was pitch-black and I couldn't find a light switch. I longed to light my wand, but I couldn't, because I am _underage_. Sheesh.

I waited for what felt like several hours. The darkness seemed to be closing in on me. I breathed faster, then stopped altogether when I heard a rustle in front of me. I was all, _Screw the rules! _and lit my wand anyway.

Me: Lumos! (wand ignites and shines on a face in front of me. Someone covers my mouth from behind before I can scream)

Heath: (VERY Hannibal Lector-ish) Hello, Lila.

Me: MMMM!

Heath: (takes my wand) Let her speak.

Me: Heath! What the knickers is going on?

Heath: A. My name's not Heath. B. I am going to kill you.

Me: What? (pause) Just out of curiosity, what _is_ your name?

Heath: Rupert.

Me: Rupert? Oh, hahahahaha- (bloke from behind clamps hand over mouth once again)

Bloke: Enough! Finish this now!

Rupert: Patience. First, I would like her to know everything.

Bloke: (sighs) Why?

Rupert: (glares daggers at him) You would do well not to question my authority.

Me: (bloke's grip loosens and I am able to speak to him) You know, you shouldn't let him talk to you like that. He's what, half your age? You need to stand up for yourself. What would all your mates say if they knew you were taking orders from a teenager with a swotty name?

Rupert: Shut her up!

Bloke: No! I think she's got a point.

Rupert: (sighs, rolls his eyes, and points my wand at bloke) _Imperio_! (lowers wand) Now, shut her up.

(hand over mouth once again)

Rupert: I was assigned to the most exhausting task of gaining your trust and getting close to you. For weeks, I followed you, read your diary, listened to your conversations… Oh yes. (grins at my bulging eyes) I read your diary. You are an interesting girl, Lila. And this boy, this Marshall with whom you are so infatuated… His grandfather was a Death Eater, was he not? I'm sure the Dark Lord is most anxious to get his hands on him.

Me: (I bite down on bloke's hand and am able to speak) What are you talking about? Lord Voldemort's gone. I'm sure you remember the infamous showdown in which my dad kicked Moldy Voldy's ever-loving ass, _oui_?

Rupert: (creepy, narrowed eyes) Watch what you say, girl.

Me: Girl? Please, boy, you are the same age I am.

(Rupert growls, me shut up)

Rupert: Yes, your father did kill the previous Dark Lord, in a dazzling display of blind luck and bumbling idiocy. But He was nothing compared to the new Dark Lord.

Me: New Dark Lord?

Rupert: Yes.

(silence as I ponder this terrifying thought)

Rupert: Well, I believe I've told you quite enough. Prepare to die, Miss Potter. (lifts wand, but is suddenly pushed from behind by invisible force. Wand tip goes out and room is plunged into darkness. I elbow bloke, he lets go, I search for wand, someone grabs me from behind, lights wand)

Rupert: (shines light over bloke on floor, then everywhere else) Who's there?

Jamie: (appears from under invisibility cloak, wand at the ready) Let her go, Rupert!

Rupert: (laughs maniacally; have bad feeling this is his breaking point) So, Brother has come to rescue Sister. The question is, James, how far must Brother go? How far will Brother go? Hmmm? Come now, James. Why, you're Harry Potter's son! You have a plan, don't you? (Pause as Jamie doesn't answer) Well, what a pity. Son fails to follow in Daddy's footsteps. (Jamie comes toward us) Don't do it, James. This is my game, and my rules. The first rule is: make any mistakes, and Sister pays the price.

Jamie: What do you want?

Rupert: Oh, what everyone wants. Lucius Malfoy's son and grandchildren in my custody, and all the Potters dead.

Me: Jamie, just go get Dad and the Ord- uh, others. Just go, I'll be fine.

Jamie: (locks eyes with me) I won't leave you, Lila.

Rupert: Touching, James. But what shall Brother do now? Left alone to challenge nasty Rupert.

Jamie: I'm not afraid of you.

Rupert: Only a fool wouldn't be. Well, I do admire your valor, James. So I shall make you this offer: one Potter must die tonight. I will allow you to choose whom.

(horrified silence)

Rupert: Tick tock James. Make your decision, or I'll choose for you. (points wand at my face)

(Jamie struggles for a few moments, looking at me desperately, hoping to think of a plan)

Rupert: _Avad_-

Jamie: Wait! Me, Rupert, I choose- myself.

Rupert: (gives disappointed sigh) Very well. You should be happy to know, James, that you are most assuredly your father's son. I will greatly enjoy killing you. (grabs my chin, looks into my eyes) Brother cares for Sister quite a lot to sacrifice himself. Now you can go the rest of your life believing it is your fault he's dead. And trust me, darling. (kisses me on lips) It is. (throws me to the side, points wand at Jamie's chest) Drop your wand. (Jamie drops it reluctantly. I try to reach him) Renfield, hold her back. (bloke grabs me once again, I struggle as hard as I can) Rather poetic, isn't it? One twin killed by the other's wand?

Me: Jamie! You can't do this!

Jamie: Lila-

Rupert: Keep her quiet, Renfield. I want to enjoy this in silence.

(hand over mouth again, big surprise. Suddenly, I hear Jamie's voice in my head)

Jamie: Lila, just let me do this.

Me: Jamie, please, we can beat him…

Jamie: What has Dad told us time and again?

Me: He didn't mean in _this _situation-

Jamie: He said, "There are times when you must fight, and times when it's best to admit your defeat."

Me: Jamie, NOT NOW! YOU CAN'T DO THIS, YOU CAN'T DIE FOR ME… we were supposed to go together, remember? When we were kids, when we were really close, we always said that we'd go to Heaven on the same day…

Jamie: We also promised that if God decided one of us should go first, they would wait for the other. I'll wait for you, Lila.

Me: You're my big brother.

Jamie: Only by two minutes.

Me: I love you, James.

Jamie: I love you, Lilian. I'll be waiting.

Me: (I say in mind, then shove Renfield's hand off and scream it) **_NO!_**

Rupert: (smiles evilly at me, turns back to Jamie) _Avada kedav- _

Me: (using all my strength, I break free of Renfield's hold and run to Jamie's side) Jamie, I won't let you do it! (I smile halfheartedly) I'm the one with a penchant for the dramatic, remember? I'm the one you always call a martyr. You stupid jackass, you're stealing my thunder… (am sobbing now)

Rupert: Two Potters, is it? Oh no, can't have that. Brother made his choice. (Renfield grabs me again, and pulls me away) And Sister has broken one of my rules. You made a mistake, now Brother will pay. (talking to Jamie) I was going to make your death short and painless, but now I think that some pain is in order. _Crucio_!

(Jamie's yells fill the basement, I sob harder)

Me: Jamie, no!

(Jamie falls to his knees, breathing heavily)

Rupert: _Crucio_!

(Jamie jerks, falls backwards, and yells. Suddenly, Dad Apparates in and points his wand at Rupert)

Dad: (MIGHTY pissed) Get-away-from-my-children.

Rupert: (laughs gleefully) Ah, Daddy has joined the game. But how did Daddy know we were playing?

Dad: I heard my son screaming, you asshole. How dare you-

Rupert: Careful, careful. Daddy doesn't know the rules.

Me: Dad, I'm sorry, I never should have trusted him…

Dad: It's not your fault, Lila. You couldn't have known.

Rupert: Enough. Terribly sorry, Daddy- well, actually, I'm not- but your son has made his choice.

Dad: What choice?

Rupert: I allowed him to choose which Potter would die tonight. In true Potter form, he chose himself. Now relax, Daddy. (points wand at Dad, his wand flies out of his hand, thick cords appear and bind him) I hope you both enjoy the show.

Me: Oy, Rupert! (I smack Renfield's face with the back of my head, pull away, grab my dad's wand and point it at Rupert, alarmingly quickly) Enjoy that show?

Rupert: (laughs insanely) Very good, Lila! Not so helpless after all, are we?

Me: I guess not. (seriously, am very surprised at myself right now, didn't know I could do that)

Rupert: A duel, then. Between two most worthy opponents.

Me: I'm not going to fight you.

Rupert: Oh Lila, you disappoint. I thought you would at least be brave enough to try. Well, if you're not going to fight me, I guess I'll just have some fun with Daddy and Brother. (points wand at them)

Me: Fine! You want to fight me so badly? Bring it on, Ferret-face. (we start circling; you know, classic dueling schmaltz)

Rupert: I'm going to enjoy this.

Me: Only if you like getting your ass kicked. And by a girl, too.

Rupert: (snarls and points his wand at me) _Imperio!_

Me: _Protego! Locomotor Mortis! _(his legs lock together and he falls to the ground)

Rupert: (crawling to reach fallen wand) You will pay for that you little bi-

Me: Ah ah ah. Watch that language young man. _Petrificus Totalus! _

And just like that, I won the duel. I know; rather anticlimactic. But my adventure in the basement wasn't over yet.

(I go over to Dad and Jamie. I untie Dad, but he's out cold. Unsure of what to do, I stand from my crouched position and turn around. Am suddenly face-to-face with a very pissed off Renfield, who has a bloody nose)

Renfield: YAAAAAH! (showing surprising strength, he lifts me up and throws me into the opposite wall. There's a cracking noise and my dad's wand light goes out. I see Renfield's moving toward me, so I kick out my leg. He grunts, falls, and I grab his wand)

Me: _Dormio! _(he starts snoring. I look angrily at my dad's broken wand) Damn it. (I shove myself up and go to Dad and Jamie) _Wingardium Leviosa! _(nothing happens) Brilliant. (I look closer, and find that Renfield's wand is wrapped all wonky with Spell-o-Tape. A unicorn hair pokes out the end) Ruddy twit. Try getting one that was made in this century. (I break wand, toss it, pocket my dad's wand, and grab Jamie, deciding there's no point looking for my wand in the dark. Then I grab Dad and I hoist them both up so they're leaning on me. I stumble my way through the darkness and to the stairs)

Well, I made slow progress up the stairs, and when I finally got to the door, it took all my remaining strength to shove it open. Right as I did, I heard Mum scream, and felt her grab me. Some Healers took Jamie and Dad. Suddenly, I felt lightheaded and dizzy. The world tipped, and faded to black.

I woke up a few minutes later, Marshall and Theresa looking down at me.

Theresa: You're awake! (hugs me)

Marshall: Nice to know you're still with us, Lilac.

Me: Yeah. Where's Dad and Jamie?

Marshall: Still getting the once-over from some Healers.

Theresa: Lila, what happened down there? No one's told us a thing.

Me: Well, the short and short of it is, I made a HUGE mistake in trusting that filth Rupert.

Marshall and Theresa: Who?

Me: Heath.

Theresa: Oh yeah, we saw him and this other bloke being taken away. We thought they were going to St. Mungo's.

Me: Azkaban, more like. Rupert- you know, Heath- is a Death Eater.

Theresa: (completely shocked) No!

Me: Yah, and the other bloke, he was too. Name was Renfield.

Marshall: What'd they do to Jamie and your dad?

Me: (am very quiet now, and not looking at either of them) Rupert tortured Jamie with the Cruciatus.

Marshall: (angrily) What!

Theresa: Oh my God.

Me: Jamie saved my life. Rupert told him that a Potter needed to die, and he had to choose. He chose himself.

Theresa: Then he was the one who we heard… Oh, Merlin.

Me: I'm so stupid. I should've listened to him. He knew Heath- Rupert, was a bit off.

Marshall: You're not stupid, you're human. Everybody makes mistakes.

Me: Not like this. Not mistakes that almost cost their brother his life.

Marshall: Quit beating yourself up. I'm sure now your relationship will be stronger than ever.

Theresa: (slightly uncomfortable) Um, that reminds me. Lila, Jamie and I got to talking. And there's one relationship I believe must come to an end. (looks at Marshall) I think we should break up, Marshall. (he looks surprised) I'm sorry! It's just that Jamie told me that… uh… (looks back and forth between Marshall and I) I've got to go. (gets up off of floor and runs away)

Marshall: I wonder what on Earth Jamie told her.

Me: I think I know.

(silence)

Me: Could you help me up?

Marshall: Sure. (helps me up) Hey. (I look into his eyes) Go talk to your brother, okay?

Me: (I nod) 'Kay. (I walk over to Dad and Jamie)

Dad: Lila! Thank Merlin you're all right! (hugs me) How in the world did you manage to beat both Rupert and Renfield, _and_ carry the two of us up those stairs?

Me: Well, I'm pretty sure I pulled something in the process… Just trust me when I say it wasn't easy.

(I look at Jamie, and he looks back)

Both of Us: I'm sorry! (we smile)

Me: Um, let me go first, okay? You were right; I shouldn't have trusted Rupert. It was a bonehead thing to do. And I don't think that I'll ever stop being amazed at the fact that you almost died for me.

Jamie: What's so amazing? You're my baby sister.

Dad: Jamie, don't you dare belittle what you did down there. It was a very brave thing to do, and I've never been prouder.

Jamie: Really? Prouder than the time I invented enchanted snot and wreaked havoc on the Slytherins?

Dad: (smiling) Yes, even prouder than when you did that.

Me: Anyway… I still can't believe it. I didn't know you, or anyone, cared enough about me to sacrifice themselves.

Dad: (surprised) Honey, you should know that nearly anyone in this lobby would do that for you.

Me: Nearly anyone?

Dad: Yeah, I think the desk clerk is still a bit miffed about the incident the other day.

Me: Oh, right. (I sigh) It's just… Nobody ever tells me, so how am I supposed to know? No one ever takes a few seconds out of their busy schedule to say a simple 'I love you,' or 'I care about you.'

(they exchange looks, then turn to me)

Both: We love you and we care about you! (they jump up and hug me)

Mum: (coming up behind me)Aaaawwww, the long-awaited annual family hug. (she joins in; we all let go after a moment, and Mum turns to me) Jamie told me what you did, and I am just so proud of you!

Me: For what? Nearly getting myself, my brother, and my father killed?

Mum: (confused) What?

Me: (I roll my eyes) Jamie, you moron, why didn't you tell her the whole story?

Jamie: (shrugs) The one I told her made you look better.

Me: Mum, Jamie got tortured, and almost died for me.

Mum: (gasps) What!

Me: (I sigh, once again) I'll tell you later.

(All the Order members come over, including my uncles Charlie, Bill, Fred, George, and Ron, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, their son Teddy, Draco Malfoy, Parvati Malfoy, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Sirius Black (he died once; spleetastic story, I'll tell you later), my aunts Hermione, Angelina Johnson-Weasley (Uncle Fred's wife), Katie Bell-Weasley (Uncle George's wife), Fleur Delacour-Weasley (Uncle Bill's wife), Neville Longbottom, Luna Longbottom, Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, Mundungus Fletcher, my grandparents, Arthur and Molly Weasley… 'Bout half the of-age wizards in England, really. They each took turns hugging Jamie and I, and saying they were glad we were all right)

Sirius: Come on, tell us what happened. (to me) We hear you're quite the heroin.

Me: Not even. That's Jamie. Oh, I mean, he's the _hero_, heh heh.

Remus: Okay, what exactly did happen? It's actually rather important you tell us. For the trial against Rupert and Renfield.

Me: Oh, alrighty then. I was really stupid and went down to the basement to meet Rupert. He captured me and was about to do me in before Jamie appeared from under the Invisibility Cloak my dad gave him. Rupert gave him a choice of which Potter would die, and he said himself. Then I made another moronic mistake, and Rupert used Cruciatus on him.

(all gasp)

Me: Then Dad Apparated in, looking mighty pissed. He was caught off guard and Rupert bound him with cords. I think he hit his head when he fell, and the cords were bloody tight, so he was out. Rupy challenged me to duel and he was incredibly easy to beat. All I did was Leg-Locker and Full Body Bind, and he was down for the count. Then Renfield threw me bodily across the room.

(all wince)

Me: I tripped him and put him to sleep. Then I heaved these two lugs up a flight of stairs.

(all start asking questions)

Me: Hang on, I'm not finished. When Rupert was about to kill Jamie, something really weird happened. Jamie and I spoke to each other with our minds.

(astonished murmurs)

Remus: Really! Very interesting. I suppose it's because you're twins _and _wizards. The magic makes your connection stronger.

Me: Fabby! That could definitely come in handy someday… (in mind) _Right bro?_

Jamie: (raising eyebrow mischievously) _You know it._

Me: (I clear throat) Anyway, there's one other kind of big thing. Rupert said that there's a new Dark Lord.

(more gasping)

Grandma: It can't be!

Laquisha: No way!

Aunt Fleur: Eet eez 'orrible!

Aunt Hermione: Unimaginable!

Remus: Quiet down everyone! Lila, are you sure he was telling the truth?

Me: I don't see why he'd lie about that, or how else to explain why there are suddenly new Death Eaters out and about.

Remus: Sirius, would you go inform Albus of this? It's vital that he know immediately! (Sirius Disapparates)

Marshall: (coming up) What's going on?

Draco: There's a new Dark Lord.

Marshall: You're kidding!

Remus: He's not, unfortunately.

(scream suddenly is heard)

Me: Oh my GODDESS! Theresa! (I run to find her. What I see makes me scream as well)

Marshall: (coming up behind me, wand at the ready) What is it!

Theresa: Cockroach! (points at it)

(everyone else gets there in time to hear her and they groan)

Me: What? It's disgusting!

We all did a lot of talking about various things after that. Well, more like everyone else did. I started this entry. I wanted to get everything down before I forgot.

I read back and noticed the ginormous difference between this entry and all the others. I guess when people try to die for you, it sobers you a bit. But knowing me, I'll be back to my usual immaturity in no time.

Except... I'm really scared. I mean, jeez, new Dark Lord? I was always happy to know that I didn't have to deal with the kind of crap my parents did at school. Now that's down the toilet. And being who I am, everyone will expect me to beat him like my Dad did with Voldy.

Great. As if I need more stress. Life sucks.

LIFE ROCKS!

Marshall interrupted me while I was writing. He said he wanted to ask me something.

Marshall: Well, Lilac, we've known each other a long time…

Me: Yah, all our lives…

Marshall: Right. And well, um, do you remember the time I saved you from those last few loose Death Eaters?

Me: Uh huh.

Marshall: Well… I mean, don't you feel a bit like things changed then? Things got weird?

(I raise my eyebrow)

Marshall: Er, well, not weird, but, um, _different_.

Me: (am a little weirded out. He has never sounded so unconfident) Yeah…

Marshall: Well, I was thinking, I mean, wondering, I, you know, um, well…

(I smile, loving his adorable stammering)

Me: (I put hand on his lips) Yes. (I kiss him)

YES YES YES YES YES YES! THERE REALLY IS A GOD! AFTER THREE YEARS OF CRUSHING ON HIM, I AM NOW DATING MARSHALL ALEXANDER MALFOY! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE HAPPY!

Now for everyone else's reactions…

Josh: EW!

Aunt Hermione: Finally! Ron, you owe me 50 galleons! Pay up!

Uncles Fred and George: (doing 'Wedding March') Duh duh duh duh! Duh duh duh duh!

Aunt Fleur: Ah, young love!

Grandma: Remember our first kiss, Arthur?

Dad: BLOODY HELL!

Mum: Harry, hush!

Jamie and Theresa: About bloody time!

Philippa: Yay! Mummy, is Lila going to be my sister now?

Draco: (to Philippa) NO!

And I, in my insane happiness, could only say "Yowza" when we parted. But that's one more word than Marshall could say.

Oh my Buddha, I don't think I've ever been so happy and so scared at the same time. Well, I'm only 15, so they darn better not find some prophecy or something that says I have to kill the new Dark Lord before he kills me or something, because it's O.W.L.s year, and that's the last thing I need.

Hang on… I have to go. Marshall's peeking at my diary. I like him, but not quite that much. Yet.

Adios on the happiest day of my life!

Lilian Athalia Potter

Don't worry; it's not the last chappie! And I'm insanely sorry it's taken so long, or if the ending is a bit odd, because I wrote it at 5:00 am. Heh heh… Oh, and I have no idea when I'll get out the next chappie cuz I haven't started it yet. Uh, patience is a virtue! I'll do my best to get it out soon, but no promises. LOVE, HUGS, DON'T DO DRUGS!


	6. READ THIS

I'm very sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but I recently had a lot of horrible things happen in my family, and several of my floppies got unformatted by a magnet. Not only does this set me back quite a bit, but it is a crushing blow to me. I've cried my eyes out over smaller losses than this. There are many stories and things I will never get back. So I ask all of you to please have patience, as I work through this loss and start anew on the next chapter.


	7. Here We Go

August 19th, 2014

Standing on balcony gazing at city

Dear Diary,

Aaah, Paris. The perfect place to fall in love... WHICH I HAVE!

By the way, did you know Theresa's and my room has a balcony? 'Cause I didn't...

Oh well! Hey, guess what my favorite word is?

MARSHALL!

Oh my goddess, it has been spleetastic! Marshall and I have barely been apart the past few days. Yesterday, we talked the whole day. We just sat in my room and talked about everything, anything. Except the new Dark Lord, but, well, obviously. Anyway, Marshall now understands how a telephone works, and I know all about his first year at Hogwarts. No one ever told me he'd sent Jamie and I a toilet seat! So not fair. Shall have to whine to Mum.

Oh, and guess who's still in 'The Land of Not Gonna Happen' about Marshall and I? Why, our loving fathers, of course.

I mean jeez. The one time Dad walked in on us making out, he freaked and sent Mr. Cheeky Desk Clerk flying. Not that it wasn't amusing, but I got in trouble! Did I mention they still haven't found the bloke?

And when Draco found out, holy Sporks. Smoke almost came out his ears, and he was hoarse the rest of the day after all the yelling he did.

Fortunately, we have reinforcements: Mum and Parvati.

I'm telling you, these are women on the edge. Do not attempt physical contact, or to squash love, because it can result in exposure of magic and a very sore you.

Anyhoo, here's how the 'incident' went.

(Marshall and I are sitting on my bed making out. All of a sudden...)

Dad: (Walking in) Lila, do- BLOODY HELL!!!!!

Me: Dad...

Marshall: Uh, hi, Mr. Potter. We were just...

Dad: I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING!

Me: Dad, we're dating, it's to be expected.

Dad: NO IT BLOODY WELL ISN'T!

(Jamie runs in, out of breath)

Jamie: (To Dad) What's going on? I heard you screaming in the lobby!

Dad: Never mind!

Me: We were making out, and Dad started-

Dad: ENOUGH, LILA!

(Draco Apparates in)

Draco: Harry, what the hell?

Dad: THEY WERE SNOGGING LIKE NO BLOODY TOMORROW! (Did I mention Dad says bloody a lot when he's p.o.ed?)

Draco: MARSHALL!

Marshall: (Rolling eyes) Oh, here we go...

Draco: I DIDN'T DO THINGS LIKE THIS, SO WHY MUST YOU-

Marshall: Oh yeah right! Mum's told me all about you and her in the Hogwarts closets!

Draco: WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT! I WAS EVIL THEN!

Marshall: NOT WHEN YOU DID IT WITH MUM!

Draco: DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME!

Marshall: STOP YELLING AT ME, THEN!

Draco: DO NOT TRY MY PATIENCE, MARSHALL!

(Parvati and Mum run in)

Mum: What in Merlin's name is going on here?!

(Draco and Dad turn to her, both looking mad as Professor Trelawney. They open their mouths, but I save them the effort)

Me: Marshall and I were making out, and Dad and Draco are angry, for some odd reason.

Dad: LILA, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!

Mum: Oh, Harry, do be quiet. Can't you see what's right in front of your face? Lila's not a child anymore. She's allowed to snog whomever she wants, within reason. Besides, you've never said a thing about Jamie.

Dad: WELL- (He gets flustered)

Parvati: And Draco, just because you did certain, er, _things_ when you were Marshall's age, doesn't mean he's irresponsible enough to follow suit.

Draco: IRRESPONSIBLE! I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COMPLAINING!

Parvati: (Waves away his words) Oh Draco, we were kids. We were both irresponsible. Now it's time to let the children learn from our mistakes. Oh, and... (Pulls out wand, sticks it in his face) ...you ever yell at me that way again, and you won't have to worry about being 'irresponsible' anymore. (Raises an eyebrow)

(Dad begins to open his mouth, face bright red)

Mum: The same goes for you, Harry James Potter. Don't forget, dear; you always hurt the ones you love. I love you. (Smiles slightly sweet, slightly evil) Now, boys, I think we should have a double date. We haven't had one in a while, and it's about time we had another. Don't you agree, Parvati?

Parvati: Of course, Ginny. (Commanding) Come, Draco. (He follows her out, looking like a dog with his tail between his legs)

(Mum crooks her finger at Dad. He follows, looking exactly like Draco)

Me: Well. Guess we can't count on them to pay for the honeymoon.

(We laugh a little)

Marshall: At least our mums are rooting for us.

Me: Yeah. But I really didn't need to know what your parents did in the Hogwarts closets. Although, it does explain where Phae and her cousin Adreana must've been half the last school year. And they always had those goofy smiles on.

Marshall: Oh, yeah, they were with Sean Finnigan and Darren Thomas.

Me: (I raise eyebrow) And you know this how?

Marshall: (Shrugs) Well, you know, guys talk.

Me: Oh Goddess, did Jared Jordan tell you what we did in the Forbidden Forest that one time?

Marshall: (Eyes widen) Excuse me?

Me: (Laughing) Sorry, had to see the look on your face. (He tickles me)

Yeah, I know, we're kind of random, but that's how we connect. Anyway, can you believe how our dads completely freaked? It's like they were never our age. Luckily, we're got our mums to back us up. Who knew they could be cool?

You'd think our dads would wear the pants in the family and be breaking us up faster than Dumbly's starting feast speeches, but our mums must've replaced them with polka-dotted skirts while our dads were playing Quidditch. Good news for Marshall and I!

Notice, though, that Draco never freaked about Marshall snogging Theresa. Not that he knew, of course. But how could he not? They did it all the time.

Unbelievably, I wish it were September first. I miss Hogwarts, the feasts, the classes, the Professors (with the exception of Binns, Trelawney, and Snape), watching Quidditch, putting of homework, lazy days by the lake watching the giant squid, the closets and unused classrooms...

Anyway, the summer is progressing fabulously thus far. Except, of course, for the supposed 'new Dark Lord' business, but hopefully Remus will be able to disprove that. Hopefully.

I mean, come on, how unfair would that be? Life is finally going almost completely the way I want it, and then it all goes to pot again? Dad DIED for crying out loud! He died so I could have a wonderful life with Marshall Malfoy, and now someone ELSE is going to come barging in to ruin MY happiness? I'll tell you what I think...

$#!$#$&# BAD WORDS!!!!!!

Okay, am seething and trembling with anger. Must calm down. Just breathe in that cool French air before the new Voldy comes to kill me and I have to go into hiding and become incredibly emo! Er...and then DIE!...and then come back...hopefully...

Hang on, Theresa's screaming...oh, it's Remus.

August 19th, 2014

Sitting on balcony trying not to puke

Remus had news.

Me: (walking in) Theresa, it's just Remus.

Theresa: (is red, embarrassed, and frazzled) Yes, well, I know that now!

Me: So I assume you're here on business?

Remus: (blinks) I swear, Lila, you just sounded exactly like your father.

Me: (rolly eyes) Fab. So what'd you find out?

Remus: Nothing good, unfortunately.

Me: I figured that.

Remus: Maybe you should sit down.

Me: (I sigh) It's true, isn't it? There's a new Dark Lord, and he wants to kill me.

Remus: (nods unhappily) Not just you. Jamie, your parents, and probably the Weasleys too.

Theresa: What?!

Me: Figured that too.

Remus: Now, I expect you'll understand that we'll want to keep a close eye on you.

Me: Don't tell me: it's off to Grimmauld Place. No school this year.

Remus: No. You can go to school, but you will always have at least two or three Aurors and Order members watching out for you. Same for Jamie and all your cousins, including you, Theresa. You won't notice them, they won't get in the way of your life. They won't even do anything when—if you break the rules. (his mouth twitches) But at the first sign of trouble they are under strict orders to get you out of there. There will be no sticking around for the fight that's sure to follow. So try not to do anything too dangerous and...Fred and George-ish, all right? Go easy this year. (goes to Apparate, then stops) By the way, I haven't told your parents yet. I'm moving on to Ginny and Harry after I talk Jamie, Marshall, and the Weasleys that are here. After them I'm heading back to Britain to let the rest of your extensive family know. So if Harry and Jamie and everyone get a little overprotective, you're on your own. (I nod. We hug) Best of luck, sweetheart. (he Apparates)

( Silence.)

Me: I'm going back out on the balcony.

Theresa: (quietly) I'm going back to bed.

And here's where you came in.

It's kind of hot outside.

I'd go back in but I'm literally frozen with fear.

Someone wants me dead. They're going to try to kill me, and what's worse, my family.

Oh trousers, I knew something bad was coming.

Whoa! I'm hearing things.

Or my brother's in my head. I heard something like, _It's all right._

How rude of him to butt in on my thoughts like that. I am now thinking that very annoying song Theresa found on her computer (Muggle device that connects them all together, it's very handy). We love it, but Marshall and Jamie can't stand it. It goes like this: RING RING RING RING RING, BANANA PHONE!

After a few repetitions, I told him to leave me alone.

_Fine_, he replied. _Just remember that I'm always here_.

"Yeah yeah," I grumbled.

Merlin's beard. I'm 15, for crying out loud! I shouldn't have to worry about things like this! All I should have to think about are OWLs and Marshall and…normal teenage girl stuff!

Why me? Seriously, why me? Why US? Why didn't stupid Voldemort mark someone else and pick on them? Why do all these evil jerks keep messing with my family?

Phae and Adreana are gonna freak.

August 20, 2014

In bed feeling like crap

Dear Diary,

I wish I were a Muggle.

Things are completely different now. It doesn't even feel like a vacation anymore. It feels like Be Weird Around Lila time. Theresa wouldn't even look at me this morning.

I know exactly what all of them are thinking. I'm like my dad, more so than Jamie. They all think I'm the one who'll stop the new Dark Lord.

Stupid evil people. Rawr.

Okay everybody, I know it took forever and I am SO sorry! And I'm sorry that things are actually getting serious, but don't worry! The humor will be back! Lila can't stay like this for long; she's a naturally insane person, like moi! I sincerely hope you enjoyed this latest installment, and I would greatly appreciate it if you pressed that pretty button in the lower left-hand corner of the screen and tell me what you think!


End file.
